I am not feeling the greatest today but I didn’t really want to stay home as work seems to be my refuge, in a way, from the craziness that is my living environment. I still live at home which is terrible for someone my age but I have never been able to afford to move out. I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but at the moment they are the primary cause of my anxiety and they don’t seem to really understand that as they are getting anxiety and stress mixed up.
My sister is the main problem as she is essentially causing the most drama at home. She moved back recently as she really had nowhere to go. She lost her job, her marriage broke down and she lost her kids. She sees them once a fortnight on the weekends and on the week leading up to that weekend her craziness levels rise tenfold. She has addiction issues and suffers from depression and she refuses to get help for either issue. She also refuses to own up to her own mistakes and transfers all her issues and faults on to others.
She also has little to no money most of the time and when she does have some she buys stuff the she doesn’t need and she doesn’t pay her bills. She is constantly borrowing our phones and iPads because she keeps hocking her own and then carries on when we refuse. She cries, howls, screams, calls people names, mumbles under her breath when she passes you and threatens to kills herself. When she found out about my diagnosis she asked what she could do to help. I just rolled my eyes at her.
My mother is the main one that cops it from her and she it at her wits end. She has tried on numerous occasions to kick her out but every time my Step-Father invites her back. My sister claims that my mother doesn’t help her though she get free room and board and doesn’t have to lift a finger with anything. My mother has made numerous appointments for her to see doctors but she never goes to any of them. She swears and calls my mother names all the time and claims that she had a terrible childhood and that we didn’t go anywhere or do anything. This if of course a lie because we went to Disneyland and Hawaii when she was 13 years old and also went to numerous other places as well.
She had her eldest at the age of 21 and says because of that she missed out on all the things that people that age do, you know the clubbing and the drinking and the general hanging out. I did all that and it wasn’t all that special but then I am not much of a drinker and neither is she. She also claims to have no friends but then all the friends she did have she has pushed away and the rest couldn’t handle her crazy.
I really didn’t want to put up with all of that today so instead I went to work and I really wish that I could of stayed home and slept a little more and watched Netflix or Animelab which ever took my fancy. Actually that was what I was hoping to talk about today my actual interest but the crazy took over.
Song of the Day