Crazy Badger

I am not feeling the greatest today but I didn’t really want to stay home as work seems to be my refuge, in a way, from the craziness that is my living environment. I still live at home which is terrible for someone my age but I have never been able to afford to move out. I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but at the moment they are the primary cause of my anxiety and they don’t seem to really understand that as they are getting anxiety and stress mixed up.

My sister is the main problem as she is essentially causing the most drama at home. She moved back recently as she really had nowhere to go. She lost her job, her marriage broke down and she lost her kids. She sees them once a fortnight on the weekends and on the week leading up to that weekend her craziness levels rise tenfold. She has addiction issues and suffers from depression and she refuses to get help for either issue. She also refuses to own up to her own mistakes and transfers all her issues and faults on to others.

She also has little to no money most of the time and when she does have some she buys stuff the she doesn’t need and she doesn’t pay her bills. She is constantly borrowing our phones and iPads because she keeps hocking her own and then carries on when we refuse. She cries, howls, screams, calls people names, mumbles under her breath when she passes you and threatens to kills herself. When she found out about my diagnosis she asked what she could do to help. I just rolled my eyes at her.


My mother is the main one that cops it from her and she it at her wits end. She has tried on numerous occasions to kick her out but every time my Step-Father invites her back. My sister claims that my mother doesn’t help her though she get free room and board and doesn’t have to lift a finger with anything. My mother has made numerous appointments for her to see doctors but she never goes to any of them. She swears and calls my mother names all the time and claims that she had a terrible childhood and that we didn’t go anywhere or do anything. This if of course a lie because we went to Disneyland and Hawaii when she was 13 years old and also went to numerous other places as well.

She had her eldest at the age of 21 and says because of that she missed out on all the things that people that age do, you know the clubbing and the drinking and the general hanging out. I did all that and it wasn’t all that special but then I am not much of a drinker and neither is she. She also claims to have no friends but then all the friends she did have she has pushed away and the rest couldn’t handle her crazy.

I really didn’t want to put up with all of that today so instead I went to work and I really wish that I could of stayed home and slept a little more and watched Netflix or Animelab which ever took my fancy. Actually that was what I was hoping to talk about today my actual interest but the crazy took over.

Song of the Day 

Tired Badger

I am not the greatest of sleepers at the best of time and I have been taking something to help me sleep for a while. After yesterday’s twitchiness I thought I could probably go the night without taking the something. Boy, was I wrong. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours despite being exhausted I took the tablet and slept for about four hours only for my dog to wake me up. I think she wanted to go for a walk but 4 in the morning was just a little too early for me. I promised her that if she woke me up in a hour I would take her. She didn’t so we didn’t.

IMG_0101 Lady

 My twitchyness isn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. Stuck to my guns and did not have coffee but instead bought some decaffeinated green tea. I also bought some Greek Yogurt for breakfast to have with some breakfast biscuits. I cannot function right without breakfast.

Apart from being tired and a little twitchy I have a headache which is not at all that surprising considering I have a headache most days but because of my two T’s my headache is much more noticeable and annoying today. All I want to do is crawl my desk or into my bed and catch up on the sleep I lost last night and hopefully also lessen the tension in my head.

Today is Tuesday and it is my most hated day of the week. I have always hated Tuesday as you either have nothing to do or too much and the day either goes really fast or is a slow as a snail. I have hated Tuesday with a passion for a long time now and I honestly can’t see the why everyone has an issue with Mondays.

Song of the Day

Twitchy Badger

I have decided to start this blog because I like to write and also because I have recently been diagnosed with a severe case of anxiety and also depression and I am hoping that I can use this blog as a bit of therapy.

I also believe that this would be a good writing project as I have not done a lot of it lately. I am a Role Player, mainly Harry Potter, but haven’t been able to find the right site to suit me yet. I ran my own for a while but I wasn’t able to garner many members and the members that I did have lost interest.

I guess in many ways it was because when I created the site I had a story to tell and wanted the members of the site to help tell the story. They were free to tell their own stories as well but I guess it might have been difficult or intimidating knowing there was an overarching story that was there from the beginning. I would still love to tell that story someday as I have been wanting to find a way of moving it out of JK Rowling’s world and in to its own.

I have to say having anxiety is not comfortable at all. My insides have been jumpy all day and it is really tiring me out. To be honest the fact that I have been able to focus enough to write this much is a miracle. Since I was diagnosed I have trying to think of ways to assist with it and it has come up with one thing and I am not sure that I am going to like it. I have given up soft drinks and anything that is carbonated like sparkling water, and this was before I was diagnosed, because it made me feel bloated. I am now thinking that I am going to have to give up coffee.

I don’t drink a lot of coffee in the first place. One cup a day is enough for me usually and that one cup I enjoy a lot but I have read that caffeine is not good for people with anxiety. So I think that I will give up that one cup. Milk and I are not the best of friends anyway but I will miss the latte that I have every morning.

Not giving up tea and chocolate though that is going a little too far. Below is a link to a site containing foods that both help and hinder with anxiety.

Have you noticed yet?

If you haven’t then shame on you. If you have here’s a gold star gold-star-symbol. I am a Hufflepuff and I am proud of it. I know we are looked down up on by those are knowledgeable about anything Harry Potter related. Admittedly I initially thought I was a Gryffindor, but I think most fans do as the hero of the story is, but the more I got into the series and the more I contemplated it the more I came to realise the badger that I am. Pottermore, I know I know, confirmed it for me and I couldn’t be happier. If I am hybrid then I am a Gryffinpuff or Huffledor. If you have no idea what I going on about below is a quiz that will sort you into your hybrid house. .

Song of the Day

For a while now on social media platforms I have been doing what I call my song of the day. I choose a song, find a clip for it and but it on the various social medias that I use. The songs are random, usually what is in my head when I wake up unless I have used it already and then I try to go with something different. There is no rhyme or reason for it just something that I like to do. I thought I might do it here as well