Still have not watched the movie though I have watched Deadpool and The Martian and I enjoyed both. Only have a couple of weekends left before my deadline of watching the movie before Dawn of Justice comes out. Still do not want to watch the movie but really want to watch DoJ.
She still has a job so that is great and her moods have been better except for Sundays…
On Sundays she is mopey and does her usual thing of giving everyone dirty looks, crying and mumbling to herself and asking for money for cigarettes because she has run out. She is also asking for money to get to work because she has had a fight with the person that was going to take her the day/night before and now is unable to get to work. She is also asking for a spare GoCard, which is a public transport card here in SE Queensland that allows you to catch any form of public transport and can be continually topped up to pay your fare. All you to do is tag on and off and every tenth fare is free. We used to have a spare one which I think we lent or gave to her at one point and I take it she has lost or gave to someone else (I think we lent it to her when she was with her ex and she gave it to him). Even if we did still have it there would be no money on it anyway so it would be of no help.
Still feeling anxious most days and at times a little blue. My insides are jittery most of the time and I can feel my heart racing. I am using a different form of the medication and I am not sure if it is working. I have noticed that I tire easily though I am not sleeping badly. The tiredness usually comes over me mid-morning and I find it hard to keep my eyes opens as they are really heavy. This is not good for when I am at work as my supervisor noticed on Friday and told me to take an early lunch so that I could get some fresh air. I am not sure if it is medication or the weather, as it has been really hot, or a combination of both. My headaches are also getting more noticeable. Have not had another panic attack and that should count for something.
Now I know that I really don’t talk about him or our relationship all that often but I thought I would say something as there have been a few developments.
We might be going to Japan at the end of the year which for me is really exciting as it somewhere, and the only place in Asia that we both really want to go to, and also because my BF is afraid to fly. I am really confidant about this mainly because he is actually talking about it with family and friends and if he wasn’t keen he wouldn’t mention it at all to other people. I hope it is not a case of talking and no action on his behalf.
The other thing is we might get a place together which I know a lot of people would say is about time as we have been together for about 5 years now. The reason why we haven’t is admittedly mainly because of me and the fact that I am comfortable where I am but considering recent events I need to get out for my own health. Also I do not want to rent and my BF did. I have also relented as I also didn’t want to leave the area that I am in but we will never be able to afford it. I think we are going to look at getting a no-deposit house and land package or something that is the Logan area of SE Queensland that is close to public transport.
Song of the Day
I am not sure what I am going to write about today but I think it is going to be a mixture of RL and Pop Culture.
Well let’s see where my thoughts are going to take me today.
Personally I have a new haircut. It is a pixie cut. I have had long hair for a while but have always preferred myself with a shorter cut. We couple of weeks ago we had a really hot weather and I couldn’t stand it anymore and got it all cut off. Plus is was something that I have wanting to do for ages. I also got a new phone because my plan was almost up and my provider offered me a new one. It is an iPhone 6S in rose gold. My old iPhone 5C is going to my mother who has an iPhone 4 I think.
My sister got a job and this turns out to be exactly what she needed to do. Her father didn’t want her to take the job as to in his opinion she is “sick”. I don’t doubt that she is sick but if someone is sick they should get help and she was refusing to do that and he wasn’t making her or advising her to get the help she needed to get. She wasn’t getting better and he was very rarely around to see her bad behaviour.
She is however still insane. The job she got is on the Gold Coast which is about an hour’s drive from where we live. To get there she will need to take a train. To make it easier for her she wants to move out and be closer to a train or on the Gold Coast. She asked me to move in with her and being closer to a train line wouldn’t worry me all that much but she was more set on living near a train line on or closer to the Gold Coast. That would only benefit her as it would cost more for me to get to work. There are several people in my office that live on the coast but work in Brisbane and it cost them around double what I am paying at the moment in public transport to get to work and back. There was no way that I would be able to afford that and barely making ends meet at the moment. Luckily one of her “friends” has been driving her to work and back and it seems that he is the one that will move to the coast with her.
Well it looks like I am going to be watching Avatar this weekend. I watched the last trailer for Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice this morning and the final nail went into the coffin that was my refusal to watch it. I’ve just got to hope that my boyfriend keeps up his end of the bargain. Also looking forward to seeing Deadpool as well and my BF is also. He, I think, is more eager than I am. I don’t think it will be this weekend though. We are babysitting on Sunday night and he hasn’t said anything about going tomorrow. Maybe next weekend.
Song of the Day
I woke up this morning in the middle of a panic attack. I can tell you it is not the best of feelings and to be honest I still think that I am in the midst of it. My bf actually had the same experience a couple of weeks ago and pretty much didn’t speak for two day after. This feeling is making me awful and I can feel a huge headache coming on and I doubt that I will be going to work today.
I think I will back up a bit and tell you a couple of day and tell you about what has happened during this week that I think that may have contributed to this feeling.
First off my sister went up to Hervey Bay which is a an approximate 4 hour drive from where we are. She then got abandoned there by the friend who took her up there. My her, step father then on Monday after working all day had to drive all the way up there to collect her. She has still then been a bit of a terror doing her usual of accusing people of stealing from, abusing her and calling people names.
My step-father and mother have also been fighting a bit of late mainly due to money and the fact that he will back up my sister no matter what her behaviour is like. He has also begun to use me as a bit of a shield. I usually go to bed really early as I will watch my shows on my iPad or on my TV. If they start to fight he will either call me down or if I have not gone up yet he will ask me to stay in the hope that I will back him up. I really don’t like being put in the middle of their fights especially since I will most likely not be siding with him anyway.
My sister has also been offered a job which is a good thing. My step-father on the other had will not let her take the job as he says that she is not well. That is true, she is not well, but if a person is not well shouldn’t they go and seek some kind of medical assistance. She doesn’t and he doesn’t encourage her to so how is she going to get any better?
Song Of The Day