Unsettled Badger

 

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So my anxiety has flared up again in a big bad way over the last week or so.

Maybe it is the weather, it has been cold even for winter in Queensland, which is usually mild.

Maybe my luck wore out and the medication is no longer working.

Maybe it is change, and this is the one I am leaning towards.

I have moved positions at work. I am still pretty much doing the same job with a few extras thrown in but I have physically moved desks and maybe it is that change that has unsettled me. I am answering and working with different people now and maybe I got a little complacent where I was. I am happy about one thing about it though. There was one person in the team I used to work for that was really starting to get on my nerves, actually he gets on everyone in the teams nerves, and I could feel a blow up coming and I am glad I won’t be around to see it or participate in it. I don’t like confrontation after all.

I woke up this morning with another panic attack and of course this had unsettled me even more today. I just can’t seem to calm down and my mind is constantly buzzing and I am twitchy. I joked with my step father a couple of weeks ago that the medication helps me from jumping out the window of my building and today the medication isn’t working and kind of feel that way, I am not suicidal or anything it is just the twitchiness.

Yesterday was my sister-in-law’s 40th birthday and she was not looking forward to it. Mine is next month and I said that I didn’t care but maybe I do care a bit more than I say I do. I just feel that I should be somewhere else in my life instead of where I am but I think there are a lot of people that are that way. I am not going to blame anyone else for the choices that I made however and I going to keep on being the young almost 40 year old that I am.

We are throwing a high tea for her on Saturday afternoon which I have a lot of baking to do for it. I am going to try to make it as gluten-free as possible for her as she tries to eat that way anyway despite not being celiac or gluten intolerant though her son, my nephew, is.

I am still on my DC binge though it exclusively Batman: The Animated Series, I am almost finished season 2. I have finished reading all of Lev Grossman’s Magician books and am now onto Ransom Riggs Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. Queensland won the State of Origin two games to one.

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