A Badger’s Decision

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Okay so my anxiety has gotten worse so much so that I had to leave and go home on Friday of last week because I just could not focus on anything. I had to explain the feeling to my boss because he has never had the feeling before. We broke it down to having approx 10 coffees in a short amount of time.  

 

I have put it down to my medication as I had been given a generic form of my medication and it was making me wired. I went to get my normal medication but my chemist had stopped getting it and had only the one that using and another that was way more expensive. I am still taking the medication but I am making sure that I eat before taking it as the anxiety isn’t as bad if I eat first.

Since it has been two weeks since my birthday I have come to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t that entirely that is the source of my current lapse. I am thinking that is the decisions that I have made that might be a contributing factor. That being my decision to move in with my bf, sister and her bf and also to return to study. I have a real bad habit of making decisions on the spur of the moment and they figuring out the consequences later on. That last time this happened I had got together with my bf, decided to study and also agreed to go overseas. Two out of three were good decisions the third one I never finished.

Another decision I made was to get back into Harry Potter written role play. I have been wanting to for a while it was just trying to find the right site and I think I found it though it is not exactly what I was looking for. I have only played in and around the Voldemort/Harry timeline and up to 10-20 years after the books were set and also in a PG kind of atmosphere. This time around is set in 2053 and it definitely a Adults website so much so that they have included a comfortability form to complete.

The staff and members are really friendly and I joined using the son of a character that I have had for a while. The good thing with this site is that they don’t mind you having multiple characters and to a certain extent they even encourage it so in the future I might bring in other characters that I have created. I just have to work on how they fit into the story being played out.

The site is called The Next Incantation and if you have any interest in role play I would love to see you there I am playing a character called Mack Wilde there.

The other thing that I have done recently is get back into Anime. Because of my DC binge I had stopped watching anime altogether but started up again over the weekend. I decided to re-watch Fairy Tail starting with the Phantom Lord arc and am currently on the Oración Seis arc. Though I love this show and love Erza and Jellal as a couple for some reason I don’t enjoy the arc’s where Jellal is prominent like this one and the previous Tower of Heaven Arc. Maybe it is because I don’t like seeing Erza vulnerable or her past and Jellal always brings that out in her.

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Song of the Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Badger’s Oscar

anxietygirl

So I had a significant birthday and though I was alright with turning this particular age earlier in the year. The week or so before the big day I had major anxiety so much so that I had to go on leave earlier than planned. I was going to go on leave the Friday before my birthday and I ended up going two days earlier.

 

This week is my first week back and though my anxiety was present during my time off it has flared up mightily. Maybe because of decisions made during leave like going and doing some extra study and trying to find a place to rent with my bf, sister and her bf. Yes, I know this is a little on the crazy side and both my bf and I realise this but it is the only way that we are going to be able to afford to move in together and my step-father has been getting a little more verbally abusive towards me of late and it can’t be good for my mental health.

 

The problem is my sister is getting rather demanding. She has given specifications on where we have to live and she is not really taking in consideration anyone else’s need but her own. It has to be in one particular suburb so she can be closer to her kids. I understand that but her other housemates will have requirements as well. I need to have public transport close by and her bf will need a big enough garage or shed to work out of. Luckily my bf is quite easy but then he is probably going to have the biggest issue with living with her especially if she goes off the rails.

 

I went away with the bf over the weekend and though the trip was good I now am feeling majorly tired. I am a reasonably good sleeper so much so that I can fall asleep in most places and though I can fall asleep it is not guaranteed that I will stay asleep or sleep well. The place that we stayed at I did not sleep well especially the second night. I kept on dreaming of my return to work and every time I had a major headache and I could feel the pain of the headache while I was asleep. I also didn’t sleep well the night before going to work. That I think was anxiety.

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So despite my anxiety in relation to the birthday it was a really good day and I got some really good gifts and had a really good party. My Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother came up from Melbourne and despite a friend of the family getting drunk, which is no surprise because she is an alcoholic and our boarder trying to get me drunk I was a good night with good food and good people.

 

My best gift is the one I got from my boyfriend is the statuette form of the Joker/Harley Cover and I call it my Oscar because of the shape and feel and maybe even the size.

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Song Of The Day