So I had a significant birthday and though I was alright with turning this particular age earlier in the year. The week or so before the big day I had major anxiety so much so that I had to go on leave earlier than planned. I was going to go on leave the Friday before my birthday and I ended up going two days earlier.
This week is my first week back and though my anxiety was present during my time off it has flared up mightily. Maybe because of decisions made during leave like going and doing some extra study and trying to find a place to rent with my bf, sister and her bf. Yes, I know this is a little on the crazy side and both my bf and I realise this but it is the only way that we are going to be able to afford to move in together and my step-father has been getting a little more verbally abusive towards me of late and it can’t be good for my mental health.
The problem is my sister is getting rather demanding. She has given specifications on where we have to live and she is not really taking in consideration anyone else’s need but her own. It has to be in one particular suburb so she can be closer to her kids. I understand that but her other housemates will have requirements as well. I need to have public transport close by and her bf will need a big enough garage or shed to work out of. Luckily my bf is quite easy but then he is probably going to have the biggest issue with living with her especially if she goes off the rails.
I went away with the bf over the weekend and though the trip was good I now am feeling majorly tired. I am a reasonably good sleeper so much so that I can fall asleep in most places and though I can fall asleep it is not guaranteed that I will stay asleep or sleep well. The place that we stayed at I did not sleep well especially the second night. I kept on dreaming of my return to work and every time I had a major headache and I could feel the pain of the headache while I was asleep. I also didn’t sleep well the night before going to work. That I think was anxiety.
So despite my anxiety in relation to the birthday it was a really good day and I got some really good gifts and had a really good party. My Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother came up from Melbourne and despite a friend of the family getting drunk, which is no surprise because she is an alcoholic and our boarder trying to get me drunk I was a good night with good food and good people.
My best gift is the one I got from my boyfriend is the statuette form of the Joker/Harley Cover and I call it my Oscar because of the shape and feel and maybe even the size.
Song Of The Day