Badger The Foodie

Wedding-Advice

 

I am feeling a little down today and it is the wedding that is making me feel this way. It is mainly money and how I am going to pay for it all as I really don’t expect the Eagle to assist. I am also keep on getting fixated on certain aspects. In a previous post it was music, for a while last week it was party favours. I got that one sorted out but I have moved on now to something else.

You would think that I would be obsessing over a venue and to a certain extent I am but it is not so much the venue but the food that is worrying me. In my original idea that was not an issue, at least that was what I thought. It was going to be a backyard reception with a spit and such. A big backyard BBQ. When that fell through I am now looking for affordable venues that have a good menu and that is not easy to find in my opinion.

I guess I am trying to please everyone but myself and I feel like I am doing with that with a lot of things. I guess it is the badger in me looking out for everybody else and though the Eagle does not want anything to do with the preparations it his tastes when it comes to menu items that I am trying to please and that is not good because he is extremely picky and has a rather simple to plain palette.

He won’t eat the following things:

 

  • Pork and any pig product
  • Nuts
  • Shellfish and Salmon

Admittedly I won’t eat the salmon and most shellfish though I will eat prawns but only if they are cooked and a lot of the menus that I have been looking through have at least salmon and pork belly on the menu and I have to rule that out automatically because I know that he won’t eat it and then that leaves other menu items that there might be something in it that he won’t touch. I guess I could just go with a buffet but at the same time it is kind of tacky in my mind and the food is not very fancy.
I am having issues in general of finding a place that is local to us and close to where I would like to have the ceremony. Our current favourite, and only because of price, menu is very simple and bordering on pub grub. Admittedly it is a tavern but I have checked out other taverns in the area and the food is a little more fancy. Also I have no idea what the venue actually looks like as there were no images of the room decked out for any sort of wedding or party.

I guess we have to go with what we can or postpone so that a little more saving can be done. I really don’t want to do that but we might not have a choice.

Song of the Day

 

 

 

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Badger, All Over The Place

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So the Eagle did something stupid this morning as I was leaving for work. He told me, a person who he knows has anxiety issues and is prone to stressing un-necessarily, not to stress. This of course has set me off after a week where my anxiety has already been off the charts. He wants to talk to me about something and I know what it is but I am not supposed to stress about it anyway. Stupid Eagle of course I am going to stress and work myself up over it because that is what I do. My depression has also kicked in. I just need a severe headache/migraine to decide to join in to make the Un-Holy trinity that is the Badger at her worse.

My diet is also a little off the wagon at the moment and I am blaming the weather. It has been raining most of the week and we are set to have another system come through over the weekend. It is quite unusual at this time of year. I have to get back on it and especially give up the coffee again as I think that is one of the reason’s my anxiety has rearing its head this week.

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I am a little late, three weeks or so, but we have had our football codes grand finals and we had one true fairy tale and one not so much but could have been. Congratulations to the Richmond Tigers who beat the Adelaide Crows for the AFL premiership. Either way it was going to be emotional for both teams. I was more rooting for the Crows due to the fact that my boss is s Crows fan and they have a rough year last year. Richmond, on the other hand, had not won a premiership in 37 years.

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Now with the Rugby League the talking point before the game was more out the pre-game entertainment while this year was Macklemore. I am not a rap/hip hop fan per say but I do like Macklemore quite a bit. The reason why this is a talking point is at the moment we are having a postal vote on whether or not gay marriage should become legal. Macklemore, a supporter of gay marriage, has a song called Same Love and chose to perform it as part of his show. Those opposed didn’t think a Grand Final should be a place to push for agenda at. He sung the song and it was wonderful, his whole performance was wonderful and he truly looked like he was enjoying himself.

Macklemore

Well back to actual game. This one was between the premiership favourites the Melbourne Storm and the underdogs (no truer words) North Queensland Cowboys. The Cowboys had only just scraped into the finals series as teams that should have won lost. They were missing there star player in Jonathan Thurston who had been out most of the season due to first a calf injury and then a shoulder one. It was very unlikely that the Cowboys were going to win but after four minutes it seemed even less likely as Prop Shaun Fensom broke his leg which meant they were down a player for the rest of the game. Melbourne won easily 34-6. It was a good send off for the star-halfback Cooper Cronk who was leaving the club at the end of the game. He will either retire or join another club in Sydney.

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Wedding preparations have been a little on the quiet side as I have other things on my mind. I have been focused a little on the music side of things and in particular the music at the ceremony.

I had decided that I wanted to walk down to the isle to a song written/performed by an Australian singer/band. It is just trying to find the right one that I am having trouble with.

I keep coming back to INXS’s Never Tear Us Apart, as the Eagle loves INXS and it is a great song, but if go with that one then I want to find an acoustic version of it and by INXS themselves and not a cover. I then flick between trying to find something by Angus and Julia Stone, Kate Miller-Heidke, Sia, Katie Noonan or Bernard Fanning. I then went in another direction and checked out The Temper Traps Sweet Disposition as a lot of people have said that is a good song to use. It just doesn’t suit what I am going for, though to be honest I don’t know what I am going for. I think of Birds of Tokyo and in particular Lanterns but think that is probably more of a recessional song than a processional. I go something truly sappy like Savage Gardens Truly, Madly Deeply, Guy Sebastian’s Angels Brought Me Here or go a little retro with Angry Anderson’s Suddenly.

I am probably overthinking it but that is the Virgo in me and it will probably get worse as it gets closer. If you have any ideas let me know because I would really like some input.

Song Of The Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Badger Update

Avatar Update:

Still have not watched the movie though I have watched Deadpool and The Martian and I enjoyed both. Only have a couple of weekends left before my deadline of watching the movie before Dawn of Justice comes out. Still do not want to watch the movie but really want to watch DoJ.

Sister Update:

She still has a job so that is great and her moods have been better except for Sundays…

On Sundays she is mopey and does her usual thing of giving everyone dirty looks, crying and mumbling to herself and asking for money for cigarettes because she has run out. She is also asking for money to get to work because she has had a fight with the person that was going to take her the day/night before and now is unable to get to work. She is also asking for a spare GoCard, which is a public transport card here in SE Queensland that allows you to catch any form of public transport and can be continually topped up to pay your fare. All you to do is tag on and off and every tenth fare is free. We used to have a spare one which I think we lent or gave to her at one point and I take it she has lost or gave to someone else (I think we lent it to her when she was with her ex and she gave it to him). Even if we did still have it there would be no money on it anyway so it would be of no help.

Anxiety/Depression Update:

Still feeling anxious most days and at times a little blue. My insides are jittery most of the time and I can feel my heart racing. I am using a different form of the medication and I am not sure if it is working. I have noticed that I tire easily though I am not sleeping badly. The tiredness usually comes over me mid-morning and I find it hard to keep my eyes opens as they are really heavy. This is not good for when I am at work as my supervisor noticed on Friday and told me to take an early lunch so that I could get some fresh air. I am not sure if it is medication or the weather, as it has been really hot, or a combination of both. My headaches are also getting more noticeable. Have not had another panic attack and that should count for something.

BF Update:

Now I know that I really don’t talk about him or our relationship all that often but I thought I would say something as there have been a few developments.

We might be going to Japan at the end of the year which for me is really exciting as it somewhere, and the only place in Asia that we both really want to go to, and also because my BF is afraid to fly. I am really confidant about this mainly because he is actually talking about it with family and friends and if he wasn’t keen he wouldn’t mention it at all to other people. I hope it is not a case of talking and no action on his behalf.

The other thing is we might get a place together which I know a lot of people would say is about time as we have been together for about 5 years now. The reason why we haven’t is admittedly mainly because of me and the fact that I am comfortable where I am but considering recent events I need to get out for my own health. Also I do not want to rent and my BF did. I have also relented as I also didn’t want to leave the area that I am in but we will never be able to afford it. I think we are going to look at getting a no-deposit house and land package or something that is the Logan area of SE Queensland that is close to public transport.

Song of the Day

Everything and the Badger

I am not sure what I am going to write about today but I think it is going to be a mixture of RL and Pop Culture.

 

Well let’s see where my thoughts are going to take me today.

 

Personally I have a new haircut. It is a pixie cut. I have had long hair for a while but have always preferred myself with a shorter cut. We couple of weeks ago we had a really hot weather and I couldn’t stand it anymore and got it all cut off. Plus is was something that I have wanting to do for ages. I also got a new phone because my plan was almost up and my provider offered me a new one. It is an iPhone 6S in rose gold. My old iPhone 5C is going to my mother who has an iPhone 4 I think.

 

My sister got a job and this turns out to be exactly what she needed to do. Her father didn’t want her to take the job as to in his opinion she is “sick”. I don’t doubt that she is sick but if someone is sick they should get help and she was refusing to do that and he wasn’t making her or advising her to get the help she needed to get. She wasn’t getting better and he was very rarely around to see her bad behaviour.

 

She is however still insane. The job she got is on the Gold Coast which is about an hour’s drive from where we live. To get there she will need to take a train. To make it easier for her she wants to move out and be closer to a train or on the Gold Coast. She asked me to move in with her and being closer to a train line wouldn’t worry me all that much but she was more set on living near a train line on or closer to the Gold Coast. That would only benefit her as it would cost more for me to get to work. There are several people in my office that live on the coast but work in Brisbane and it cost them around double what I am paying at the moment in public transport to get to work and back. There was no way that I would be able to afford that and barely making ends meet at the moment. Luckily one of her “friends” has been driving her to work and back and it seems that he is the one that will move to the coast with her.

 

Well it looks like I am going to be watching Avatar this weekend. I watched the last trailer for Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice this morning and the final nail went into the coffin that was my refusal to watch it. I’ve just got to hope that my boyfriend keeps up his end of the bargain. Also looking forward to seeing Deadpool as well and my BF is also. He, I think, is more eager than I am. I don’t think it will be this weekend though. We are babysitting on Sunday night and he hasn’t said anything about going tomorrow. Maybe next weekend.

Trailers

Song of the Day

A Badger’s Panic

I woke up this morning in the middle of a panic attack. I can tell you it is not the best of feelings and to be honest I still think that I am in the midst of it. My bf actually had the same experience a couple of weeks ago and pretty much didn’t speak for two day after. This feeling is making me awful and I can feel a huge headache coming on and I doubt that I will be going to work today.

I think I will back up a bit and tell you a couple of day and tell you about what has happened during this week that I think that may have contributed to this feeling.

First off my sister went up to Hervey Bay which is a an approximate 4 hour drive from where we are. She then got abandoned there by the friend who took her up there. My her, step father then on Monday after working all day had to drive all the way up there to collect her. She has still then been a bit of a terror doing her usual of accusing people of stealing from, abusing her and calling people names.

My step-father and mother have also been fighting a bit of late mainly due to money and the fact that he will back up my sister no matter what her behaviour is like. He has also begun to use me as a bit of a shield. I usually go to bed really early as I will watch my shows on my iPad or on my TV. If they start to fight he will either call me down or if I have not gone up yet he will ask me to stay in the hope that I will back him up. I really don’t like being put in the middle of their fights especially since I will most likely not be siding with him anyway.

My sister has also been offered a job which is a good thing. My step-father on the other had will not let her take the job as he says that she is not well. That is true, she is not well, but if a person is not well shouldn’t they go and seek some kind of medical assistance. She doesn’t and he doesn’t encourage her to so how is she going to get any better?

Song Of The Day

 

 

Stupid, Stupid Badger

The past week I have done some incredibly stupid things that I am regretting doing now which culminated in what will most likely be the most stupid thing that I will most likely ever do yesterday.

 

My stupidity started out on Tuesday, which was my first mistake considering that I should never make a decision on that day considering my dislike, when I decided to borrow some money in the form of small personal loan. The amount wasn’t that much and I was offered more than double the amount but refused it. I guess that was a small smartness on my part but still it was a stupid thing to do considering that I probably couldn’t afford to do it in the first place. I borrowed the money because of the fact that my TV blew up and I wanted a new one, plus a few bills and a birthday present.

 

The second mistake and that biggest and most stupid thing that I will most likely ever do in my life occurred yesterday and naturally involved my sister who I have been standing up to a little bit lately. This has been mainly because of my frustration with her and the fact that keeps asking and borrowing my tech and then not returning it in a fashion that I would like, namely not closing down windows and systems she uses and also that fact she sends abusive messages to people using my number.

 

So my bf I went shopping for the TV and she and my eldest niece came along. We bought the TV from her ex and my nieces father because we knew that he would get us a good deal. After that my sister asked to go to another retailer which offered a good rental plan which meant that you will own what you rented at the end of the rental term. My sister could not apply for it herself because she did not have ID and also she does not have good credit and asked me to do it for her. I agreed to do it under the proviso that she will pay for the repayments using an automatic bank transfer. On top of the computer that she got and the necessary software that she would need we also ended up getting an Apple laptop for my niece because my sister had promised her one and I couldn’t say no to that because it would look bad on me and she also said that she would make payments herself once she got a job.

 

That was my huge act of stupidity.

 

I trust my niece to follow through, it is my sister that I don’t because she might follow through initially but I wouldn’t put it past her to back out eventually because her selfishness will eventually arise and she will come to the conclusion that what she needs in the moment out-ways what she owes in the past. In other words she will cancel the payments because when her need for cigarettes and fancy expensive milk will be more important than a computer and promises to her child. We have told her that moment she misses a payment the deal will be cancelled and she has agreed to it but I am too soft hearted and most likely not go ahead with it.

 

With this rental plan there was a cashback offer as well which I have signed up to receive though I am not counting my chickens with this one as I have gone down this path before and it has not worked. The cash back with this one was 20% of the purchase price which equates to approximately $400 which my sister expects and is planning on buying another computer with it this time for her youngest child who is 8 in preparation of when she goes into high school which is not for a couple more years. She wants her to know how to use Microsoft programs like Word and Excel. Personally I think this is a waste of money. We were originally going to put the money towards the actual plan so that it reduces the length and how much is owed but my sister nixed that in favour of the other. Personally I think that I should get some of it as a kind an assurance  considering I am getting no benefit out of this arrangement at all.

 

My sister, has however got it in her head that she that cashback includes the interest paid as well which means that the cashback will be over a $1000. Both me and my mother tried to tell her this last night but off course my sister is never wrong and she started going on about how we are stealing from her and we have made some kind of deal to divvy up the money. I also reminded her that I am doing her a favour here and I am putting my credit limit on the line for her but of course that doesn’t matter because in that moment she has what she wants.

 

She also went to her back-ups of claiming to have a bad childhood and that my mother was a bad parent and called her and myself a bitch and slut which of course that is just projection. She also pinned my mother against a wall and was kicking her as well but admittedly if my mother hadn’t grabbed at her that would not have happened. The whole incident frightened my mother’s dog Winni and has her hiding under my bed. I wish that I had filmed it because it would be proof to my step-father of my sister’s behaviour.

 

This of course has heightened my anxiety and depression levels and I wish that I could have stayed home today. Actually scratch that it would be a war zone there as both my mother and sister would be there. Maybe being at work is a better option and considering that I have the late today away from home is the best option. Tomorrow is a public holiday and my eldest brother is coming over. Hopefully things will calm down a bit.

 

Song Of The Day

Travel Badger

There is nothing I love more than flying so you could save that I love travelling. Unfortunately I have not really been on what I would call a proper holiday which involves flying in years. I was on a plane last year when I went to my cousins wedding in Melbourne but I really wouldn’t consider that a holiday as such.

That last holiday I went on would have been when I went to America with my mother 4 years ago. The trip was a spur of the moment trip and it also coincided with my birthday so I spent that particular birthday in Las Vegas. That was one of the best holidays I have ever had. It was only to Vegas and Anaheim but still it was a lot of fun because it just Mum and me and we were able to do what we want when we wanted to.

On that particular trip we saw two shows in Vegas the Cirque Du Soleil Beatles show Love and The Lion King, for the first time. We also went to shopping outlet and in Anaheim we went to Disneyland (duh!!) and we also took the ferry across to Catalina Island.

The holiday before that was once again to the US. It started off as a trip that I was going to take with my cousin but he pulled out on me and ended up being a trip by myself. It was a Contiki tour that started in Anaheim that went up to Vegas then through the Grand Canyon, New Mexico down to Texas, Memphis, New Orleans, Orlando, up through Savannah to Washington DC passing through Philly and finishing up in New York. The trip started at the beginning of December 2005 and finished on Christmas Day. I stayed on however in New York until after New Year because essentially that was the point of the trip New Year in New York. To this day New York is probably my most favourite place that I have ever visited though I did love Savannah and the Grand Canyon.

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I did the Contiki tour because it seemed like the most logical thing for a single female to do as I would be others around my own age and you know safety in numbers and I was right in thinking that. I was however one of the few that was not really into the partying side of the tour the drinking and clubbing. I was there for the actual travel aspect of it. In someways I don’t really understand why anyone would consistently get blotto and then be expected to be up early the next morning to travel a several hundred miles with maybe a little stop over to do some kind of activity only to get blotto again and so the same thing the next day. I remember there were three English girls on the tour who would do this and I called them (in private) mermaids because I was sure they could drink underwater.

The purpose of this recollection is because my mother is going on a holiday herself this week and I am not going. She, my stepfather and two of my nieces are going to Hong Kong on Sunday. My stepfather had promised to take my nieces to Disney and since they my mother, who despite the fact that she was not the one to make the promise felt obligated to keep it, made the arrangements and paid for it. Since they could not afford to go to either of the US Disney’s, though my mother would love to go to Disneyworld, or the one in France they decided to go to the Hong Kong one as it not that expensive to go to and reasonably close as the youngest out of the two girls is rather impatient.

This of course leaves me home alone. Well not really alone as my boyfriend is staying the week and my crazy sister will be around as well. This of course is not really good my mental state. I am not on any medication at the moment and my insides are playing up big time. I have also essentially been put in charge and though I have accepted the responsibility I doubt that my sister is going to pay any attention to the decree or my authority as she doesn’t listen to anything that anyone says and if is listening she will take offense to it. Last night when she was reminded of this fact she stated again her age and that she feels like the she is prison despite the fact that she is free to go and do whatever she likes. She has also been put on notice and if she plays up in any way I have instructed to call the police which to be honest I would do gladly.

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Song Of The Day

DumbleBadger

I was not originally going to have another post today but my sisters behaviour last night compelled me to post as it annoyed me greatly. In her rants and mumbles she kept on talking about that the life that she leads now is not the life that she wanted or was meant to have and that everything that had has occurred in her life was forced on her by others and that she had no choice. These rumblings were all because she had no money and there for no cigarettes.

This lead me to think of free will which of course lead me to think of Harry Potter and in particular Dumbledore. My sister is the one that introduced me to JK Rowling’s world which has had a massive effect on me and I can’t believe that she has forgotten the story and also the major that is the choices that we make are what makes us who we are.

In the books Dumbledore refers to the choices people make twice. The first time in second book Chamber of Secrets when he says to Harry that “it is the choice that show what we truly are, not our abilities.” The second times is in my favourite of the books Goblet of Fire where he address the whole of the school after the death of Cedric Diggory, may Merlin bless his soul, “Remember, if the time should come when you have to make between what is right and what is easy what happened to a boy who was kind and brave…”

Now how this applies to my sister is that that no matter she is saying right now or when she is suffering from whatever withdrawal that is I going through is that it was her choice to date and marry the man that she did and have his children. She was not forced to take up smoking and take the drugs that she took. She might had been encouraged in some way to do so but she could have easily said no. It is was her choice to sign away the townhouse that she owned to him and sell the house and sign the paperwork that gave him more money when they separated, she was advised to do neither but she still did it. She might have really had no choice to come and live in our house but at that time she had nowhere else to go but she does have a “boyfriend” and she can stay with him but choose not to and then complains about it.

I really don’t know what life she thinks she should have had but there is no point in complaining about what you don’t have and focus on what you do because that will only make you unhappy and those around you unhappy. I never once thought that I would be the age that I am and have never married and still living with my parents, but I am and I am not going to complain about it and blame anyone else for it because it is my own doing and fault that it is the way that is it. I have a roof over my head, a good job, a family, friends, boyfriend and dog who love me and who I love in return. I have travelled and have hobbies that keep me entertained. It might not be much but it is all that I need.

Sure I suffer from anxiety, depression and headaches but I don’t see the point of complaining about what I don’t have and what I should have because that will only make me miserable. This leads to another Dumbledore quote and what I will leave us with today

Badger’s Accident

When I was around 22 years old I was in a car crash. I was a front seat passenger in a Holden Commodore coming onto a on ramp to a local freeway. Myself, the guy I was seeing at the time and a girlfriend of mine had just seen a movie at a local theatre and was heading into town to play some pool. My “boyfriend” was the driver and he was paying more attention to me then he was to the road and went right up the back of a car that had broken down. He was not speeding but my head still hit the windscreen.

I was taken to a local hospital where surgery was down on my forehead which had glass all through it. I had a hole pretty much above by left eye and had a skin graft to cover that up. Believe me when I say there is nothing scarier than a needle being put in your eye. I have a scar that goes from my over my left eye over the top where my nose starts and into the beginning of my right eye. It is only really noticeable if you are looking for it or if you really drunk as I found out when I went on a cruise a year or so later.

Even since I suffer from headaches. I have some form of headache everyday but some days they are worse than others. I wouldn’t call them migraines because I only have ever had what I would call a migraine once and I call it that because the pain of it made me cry. But they can get pretty severe to the point that I can’t see properly and they make feel quite ill in the stomach but not enough to make it physical. The headaches seem to start in my neck and a doctor diagnosed Cervical Spondylosis which is basically arthritis in the neck. Apart from heat or cold packs and ibuprofen there is nothing that can be done. I have had massages, acupuncture and physio for treatment and sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t.

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Of course the headaches don’t really help considering that I now suffer from anxiety and depression. I do not drive partially because of the accident and also because I don’t have the best concentration span and the anxiety makes that worse. I did take lessons once but ended up smashing my then boyfriends brand new Mazda 3 into a person’s fence. He tried to sue me after we broke up but that didn’t happen because I was a learner driver and he had lost his licence drink driving so I should not have been driving in the first place. I also get nervous when I am a passenger and the car speeds up which is quite odd because speed did not play a factor in the accident.

If any of you were wondering about the driver we naturally broke up. His car was written off but everything was alright with him as all he got was a sprained wrist and his daddy bought him a new car. Ever since then I have had a great dislike for Holdens.

Song Of The Day

Friday Badger

It is Friday so Yah!!
Being a Friday of a pay week it also means that my nieces are staying with us this weekend. We get them once a fortnight. It also means that my sister can be a little erratic in the days leading up to and also during their stay. I would definitely say that Monday was that day as she and Mum had a big fight which ended in my mother throwing stuff at her door. Tuesday my sister was all sunshine and roses and acted like nothing had happened the night before. Wednesday her “friend” showed up and took her for the day and night. She returned yesterday but I didn’t see her.

I would say that today she will be happy to a point because her kids are there. Most of tomorrow she will in a good mood but by the afternoon her “depression” will set in and she will be moody for the rest of the day. Sunday she will either be a troll and hide in her room for most of the day or she will be overly opinionated about things she really knows nothing about and annoy everyone else while she impresses these opinions on her youngest child.

Fun times ahead.

Luckily for most of Saturday I probably won’t be around. My boyfriend and I are going to watch his best friend play cricket. Well actually my boyfriend is there to watch cricket I am there to keep the best friends wife company while in the process most likely getting an huge headache because I will be sitting in the sun most of the day. Lucky for me I like the wife. We are then going to dinner after that which is something that I have been wanting to do for a while but since finding time to do that is a bit a chore as the best friends work hours are a little odd as he does shift hours and I am also the one that will most likely have to arrange it because the others can’t be bothered.

Sunday we don’t have anything planned but since I am do not like making plans to begin with because I rarely keep to them that is a good thing. Hopefully we will be watching Age of Ultron which I bought over a month ago and haven’t had a chance to watch it because of stuff and the fact that I wanted to watch it while my eldest niece was there.

Song Of The Day