So I attended a wedding yesterday. It was a last minute thing. The Eagle’s best friend’s daughter was the bride and she had a couple of people pull out at the night before and she needed seat fillers. We agreed to go as a favour and also so that I could possibly get ideas myself for our own wedding.
It was a nice wedding. The location was nice and meal was good and I did get a couple of ideas but at the same time it’s doing my head in a bit. The stress and anxiety of all is playing on me really bad that I feel a little trapped, especially inside my own head. I can almost feel like I am going to have a panic attack and start bawling at any moment.
It also doesn’t help that when I run things across other people, in particular my mother, she agrees with me and says that it is a good idea but then turns around and says the opposite to the Eagle. As their wedding was on a Thursday I put it to her to maybe have a weekday wedding as it might end up being cheaper. We worked out an alternate date and everything. The Eagle told me later on that she thought it was a stupid idea.
I also leaning towards a more industrial/warehouse styled wedding as I believe it fits well with the superhero/Joker and Harley Quinn theme but like with every other place or even idea I have come up with just finding the right place has proven to be difficult. Naturally there is nothing in what I consider to be my local area as they are more likely to be closer to or in the city or on the other side of Brisbane. I also kind of a like the idea of a feast/banquet style kind of like how they had meals at Hogwarts. Maybe I am just being a little too picky.
Song Of The Day
So me and the Eagle have set a date. From now on I think that is what I will call him when I refer to him in my posts. He is a Ravenclaw after all and his favourite NRL rugby league team is the Manly Sea-Eagles so it is fitting. He goes for divisive football teams, he goes for the Collingwood in AFL. It is weird that he has chosen teams and got sorted into the house with bird emblems because he doesn’t like to fly and doesn’t like heights.
After sitting down and going over the calendar print outs for the next couple of years we come to agreement on this date.
Saturday 9th March 2019
We decided that we didn’t want to get married in Summer or Winter due to the either being too hot or cold though admittedly Brisbane Winters are not all that bad but you never know. So that left Autumn or Spring. We ruled out Autumn of next year because of time and money. We did consider the last couple of months of November because I wanted my one of my nieces, who is born in the first week of November, to be older as she is a Junior Bridesmaid and I wanted her to be a little older when we got married.
So that left 2019 as being the year. April and May are just a little busy due to birthdays and wedding anniversaries already so that left March and Spring. We did consider September but with the lead up to Christmas and another batch of birthdays in October and November, March seemed to be a best option.
Now that we have timeline to work to we or should I say I can start planning. The Eagle has left it all on my shoulders as he believes that the only things he needs to do is ask and then show up. I have been offered help and I have already nailed down most of the wedding party and decided on colours and themes and such. The colours are classic black and white with splashes of red with a bit of a superhero theme as I am Harley and the Eagle is my Joker. The men in the wedding party will all be wearing superhero themed ties with the Eagle wearing a Joker one.
We are looking towards having a backyard reception. My eldest brother has an acre lot and we will most likely have the reception there with the ceremony possibly at a local park that has a gazebo and waterfall. I am trying to do with on a strict budget as neither of us have much money.
Song of the Day
I have many faults, I will never ever say that I am perfect because in my mind perfection equals normality and I would never ever want to be called normal. So I cannot be called perfect though I do have perfectionist streak at times, but that is the Virgo in me. I can be lazy and procrastinate a lot and I am absolutely terrible when it comes to money and making decisions when it comes to money. I am probably more selfish than I would like to be also and I am struggling with this quite a bit at the moment but this is probably my anxiety, which I guess is another reason why I am not perfect/normal.
One thing that I am and that has been pointed out and something that I am kind of proud of is that I am decisive. If I say that I am going to do something I will do it though I will think on it for a while before I act. Two things I did over the weekend prove this.
I have stated that I wanted to get a Wonder Woman tattoo and wanted to do it before the movie comes out. I decided this a couple of months after getting my Harley Quinn diamonds tattoo because I did debate on getting a Joker J tattoo. I decided to go with a more feminist bent instead. So I now I had Harley on left wrist/forearm and Wonder Woman on my right. My good and bad sides. I guess this is the selfish decision that I made over the weekend.
The second one is something that is a little selfish I guess because it was for me but it was also for my family and will kick off, hopefully, the renovation of the house for its possible sale. I got my room painted. It was something that I had considered for over a year and me and the bf had gone to Bunnings (a hardware chain here in Australia) a couple of time and got colour swatches. I made a decision to do it two weekends ago and after consultation with family members a colour was decided upon.
We got the paint and other utensils to complete the job on Friday with the intent on doing it over the weekend as it was a long one due to Labour Day. Saturday I was in a lazy mood so me and the bf decided on Sunday as the day with touch ups on Monday if required. Sunday I cleared out the room before my bf arrived as he told me to have it done bright an early and then turned up later than I thought he would, though that is quite typical because as my mother said there was work to be done so naturally he was lazy. He helped move the items of furniture that needed to be moved out and moved the bed to the middle of the room. It was the only piece of furniture that could not be moved.
Myself and he then painted the room with assistance from my 9 year old niece and my sister’s sometime boyfriend. My niece helped as way of distracting her as her guinea pig died the night before and the sometimes boyfriend offered and said that he knew what he was doing though probably didn’t or was too distracted by my sister. He was planning on using the remainder of the paint to do my sisters room though to do that she will need to clean it and that it a challenge in itself.
My room though looks great and I am pleased with the outcome though we will still need to paint the trims and doors as they are still the original creamy colour they were before and that colour really doesn’t work well with the new colour of the walls.
Song of the Day
So I had a significant birthday and though I was alright with turning this particular age earlier in the year. The week or so before the big day I had major anxiety so much so that I had to go on leave earlier than planned. I was going to go on leave the Friday before my birthday and I ended up going two days earlier.
This week is my first week back and though my anxiety was present during my time off it has flared up mightily. Maybe because of decisions made during leave like going and doing some extra study and trying to find a place to rent with my bf, sister and her bf. Yes, I know this is a little on the crazy side and both my bf and I realise this but it is the only way that we are going to be able to afford to move in together and my step-father has been getting a little more verbally abusive towards me of late and it can’t be good for my mental health.
The problem is my sister is getting rather demanding. She has given specifications on where we have to live and she is not really taking in consideration anyone else’s need but her own. It has to be in one particular suburb so she can be closer to her kids. I understand that but her other housemates will have requirements as well. I need to have public transport close by and her bf will need a big enough garage or shed to work out of. Luckily my bf is quite easy but then he is probably going to have the biggest issue with living with her especially if she goes off the rails.
I went away with the bf over the weekend and though the trip was good I now am feeling majorly tired. I am a reasonably good sleeper so much so that I can fall asleep in most places and though I can fall asleep it is not guaranteed that I will stay asleep or sleep well. The place that we stayed at I did not sleep well especially the second night. I kept on dreaming of my return to work and every time I had a major headache and I could feel the pain of the headache while I was asleep. I also didn’t sleep well the night before going to work. That I think was anxiety.
So despite my anxiety in relation to the birthday it was a really good day and I got some really good gifts and had a really good party. My Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother came up from Melbourne and despite a friend of the family getting drunk, which is no surprise because she is an alcoholic and our boarder trying to get me drunk I was a good night with good food and good people.
My best gift is the one I got from my boyfriend is the statuette form of the Joker/Harley Cover and I call it my Oscar because of the shape and feel and maybe even the size.
Song Of The Day