Unsettled Badger

 

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So my anxiety has flared up again in a big bad way over the last week or so.

Maybe it is the weather, it has been cold even for winter in Queensland, which is usually mild.

Maybe my luck wore out and the medication is no longer working.

Maybe it is change, and this is the one I am leaning towards.

I have moved positions at work. I am still pretty much doing the same job with a few extras thrown in but I have physically moved desks and maybe it is that change that has unsettled me. I am answering and working with different people now and maybe I got a little complacent where I was. I am happy about one thing about it though. There was one person in the team I used to work for that was really starting to get on my nerves, actually he gets on everyone in the teams nerves, and I could feel a blow up coming and I am glad I won’t be around to see it or participate in it. I don’t like confrontation after all.

I woke up this morning with another panic attack and of course this had unsettled me even more today. I just can’t seem to calm down and my mind is constantly buzzing and I am twitchy. I joked with my step father a couple of weeks ago that the medication helps me from jumping out the window of my building and today the medication isn’t working and kind of feel that way, I am not suicidal or anything it is just the twitchiness.

Yesterday was my sister-in-law’s 40th birthday and she was not looking forward to it. Mine is next month and I said that I didn’t care but maybe I do care a bit more than I say I do. I just feel that I should be somewhere else in my life instead of where I am but I think there are a lot of people that are that way. I am not going to blame anyone else for the choices that I made however and I going to keep on being the young almost 40 year old that I am.

We are throwing a high tea for her on Saturday afternoon which I have a lot of baking to do for it. I am going to try to make it as gluten-free as possible for her as she tries to eat that way anyway despite not being celiac or gluten intolerant though her son, my nephew, is.

I am still on my DC binge though it exclusively Batman: The Animated Series, I am almost finished season 2. I have finished reading all of Lev Grossman’s Magician books and am now onto Ransom Riggs Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. Queensland won the State of Origin two games to one.

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Tired Badger

I am not the greatest of sleepers at the best of time and I have been taking something to help me sleep for a while. After yesterday’s twitchiness I thought I could probably go the night without taking the something. Boy, was I wrong. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours despite being exhausted I took the tablet and slept for about four hours only for my dog to wake me up. I think she wanted to go for a walk but 4 in the morning was just a little too early for me. I promised her that if she woke me up in a hour I would take her. She didn’t so we didn’t.

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 My twitchyness isn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. Stuck to my guns and did not have coffee but instead bought some decaffeinated green tea. I also bought some Greek Yogurt for breakfast to have with some breakfast biscuits. I cannot function right without breakfast.

Apart from being tired and a little twitchy I have a headache which is not at all that surprising considering I have a headache most days but because of my two T’s my headache is much more noticeable and annoying today. All I want to do is crawl my desk or into my bed and catch up on the sleep I lost last night and hopefully also lessen the tension in my head.

Today is Tuesday and it is my most hated day of the week. I have always hated Tuesday as you either have nothing to do or too much and the day either goes really fast or is a slow as a snail. I have hated Tuesday with a passion for a long time now and I honestly can’t see the why everyone has an issue with Mondays.

http://www.theebbtide.com/content/tuesdays-are-categorically-worst-day-week

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