I feel like breaking into song and singing a little Staind at the moment but this is not really the time or even the place. I doubt that anyone would appreciate me breaking into song. I am not Kevin Smith after all (he always sings it when he says the phrase).
Still having inspiration and concentration issues. Started seeing my psychologist again and she has suggested that I defer on the study until I can calm done. Have done a little bit of travelling over the last month in which the thought of flying really started stressing me out which has never happened before as I have been mentioned in a previous post that I love flying. Saw my father for the first time in 27 years while on said travel which was really emotional as he is not a well man (suffers from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s). The second lot of travel took me up to a cyclone affected area of North Queensland to do a little recovery work where strangely my anxiety decided to play nice for all but one day and that was due to my dislike of confrontation. We also had a really good EAP (Employee Assistance Program) rep available.
Sister was in hospital again but is now out and being a pain in ass. She wants my bed because I have a better mattress and naturally I don’t want to give it up because it is my bed. Booked a cruise for next year for my bf’s 50th. Since he doesn’t like boats it is going to be interesting. Family are planning on selling the family home due to the fact that my stepfather and my mother have split. Might finally get the money that he owes me.
Want to get a semicolon tattoo either behind my one of my ears or on the same wrist as my Harley’s Diamonds tattoo. Also want get a Wonder Woman tattoo on the opposing wrist before the movie comes out. BTW the trailers are awesome and so it the Justice League ones. Speaking of DC properties been reading a lot of comic books lately due to the travel and a podcast that I listen to. If you like DC comics and don’t mind long podcasts and I mean 10 to 12 hour long podcasts listen to Weird Science DC. They are really insightful and review every DC related comic weekly. They also treat their listeners well are very funny.
Though this is my first in while on this blog I have put up a few posts on my review blog in which I have put up reviews for the following:
Ready Player One (Book)
Assassination Classroom (Anime)
Cowboy Bebop (Anime)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movie)
Song Of The Day
Still have not watched the movie though I have watched Deadpool and The Martian and I enjoyed both. Only have a couple of weekends left before my deadline of watching the movie before Dawn of Justice comes out. Still do not want to watch the movie but really want to watch DoJ.
She still has a job so that is great and her moods have been better except for Sundays…
On Sundays she is mopey and does her usual thing of giving everyone dirty looks, crying and mumbling to herself and asking for money for cigarettes because she has run out. She is also asking for money to get to work because she has had a fight with the person that was going to take her the day/night before and now is unable to get to work. She is also asking for a spare GoCard, which is a public transport card here in SE Queensland that allows you to catch any form of public transport and can be continually topped up to pay your fare. All you to do is tag on and off and every tenth fare is free. We used to have a spare one which I think we lent or gave to her at one point and I take it she has lost or gave to someone else (I think we lent it to her when she was with her ex and she gave it to him). Even if we did still have it there would be no money on it anyway so it would be of no help.
Still feeling anxious most days and at times a little blue. My insides are jittery most of the time and I can feel my heart racing. I am using a different form of the medication and I am not sure if it is working. I have noticed that I tire easily though I am not sleeping badly. The tiredness usually comes over me mid-morning and I find it hard to keep my eyes opens as they are really heavy. This is not good for when I am at work as my supervisor noticed on Friday and told me to take an early lunch so that I could get some fresh air. I am not sure if it is medication or the weather, as it has been really hot, or a combination of both. My headaches are also getting more noticeable. Have not had another panic attack and that should count for something.
Now I know that I really don’t talk about him or our relationship all that often but I thought I would say something as there have been a few developments.
We might be going to Japan at the end of the year which for me is really exciting as it somewhere, and the only place in Asia that we both really want to go to, and also because my BF is afraid to fly. I am really confidant about this mainly because he is actually talking about it with family and friends and if he wasn’t keen he wouldn’t mention it at all to other people. I hope it is not a case of talking and no action on his behalf.
The other thing is we might get a place together which I know a lot of people would say is about time as we have been together for about 5 years now. The reason why we haven’t is admittedly mainly because of me and the fact that I am comfortable where I am but considering recent events I need to get out for my own health. Also I do not want to rent and my BF did. I have also relented as I also didn’t want to leave the area that I am in but we will never be able to afford it. I think we are going to look at getting a no-deposit house and land package or something that is the Logan area of SE Queensland that is close to public transport.
Song of the Day
There is nothing I love more than flying so you could save that I love travelling. Unfortunately I have not really been on what I would call a proper holiday which involves flying in years. I was on a plane last year when I went to my cousins wedding in Melbourne but I really wouldn’t consider that a holiday as such.
That last holiday I went on would have been when I went to America with my mother 4 years ago. The trip was a spur of the moment trip and it also coincided with my birthday so I spent that particular birthday in Las Vegas. That was one of the best holidays I have ever had. It was only to Vegas and Anaheim but still it was a lot of fun because it just Mum and me and we were able to do what we want when we wanted to.
On that particular trip we saw two shows in Vegas the Cirque Du Soleil Beatles show Love and The Lion King, for the first time. We also went to shopping outlet and in Anaheim we went to Disneyland (duh!!) and we also took the ferry across to Catalina Island.
The holiday before that was once again to the US. It started off as a trip that I was going to take with my cousin but he pulled out on me and ended up being a trip by myself. It was a Contiki tour that started in Anaheim that went up to Vegas then through the Grand Canyon, New Mexico down to Texas, Memphis, New Orleans, Orlando, up through Savannah to Washington DC passing through Philly and finishing up in New York. The trip started at the beginning of December 2005 and finished on Christmas Day. I stayed on however in New York until after New Year because essentially that was the point of the trip New Year in New York. To this day New York is probably my most favourite place that I have ever visited though I did love Savannah and the Grand Canyon.
I did the Contiki tour because it seemed like the most logical thing for a single female to do as I would be others around my own age and you know safety in numbers and I was right in thinking that. I was however one of the few that was not really into the partying side of the tour the drinking and clubbing. I was there for the actual travel aspect of it. In someways I don’t really understand why anyone would consistently get blotto and then be expected to be up early the next morning to travel a several hundred miles with maybe a little stop over to do some kind of activity only to get blotto again and so the same thing the next day. I remember there were three English girls on the tour who would do this and I called them (in private) mermaids because I was sure they could drink underwater.
The purpose of this recollection is because my mother is going on a holiday herself this week and I am not going. She, my stepfather and two of my nieces are going to Hong Kong on Sunday. My stepfather had promised to take my nieces to Disney and since they my mother, who despite the fact that she was not the one to make the promise felt obligated to keep it, made the arrangements and paid for it. Since they could not afford to go to either of the US Disney’s, though my mother would love to go to Disneyworld, or the one in France they decided to go to the Hong Kong one as it not that expensive to go to and reasonably close as the youngest out of the two girls is rather impatient.
This of course leaves me home alone. Well not really alone as my boyfriend is staying the week and my crazy sister will be around as well. This of course is not really good my mental state. I am not on any medication at the moment and my insides are playing up big time. I have also essentially been put in charge and though I have accepted the responsibility I doubt that my sister is going to pay any attention to the decree or my authority as she doesn’t listen to anything that anyone says and if is listening she will take offense to it. Last night when she was reminded of this fact she stated again her age and that she feels like the she is prison despite the fact that she is free to go and do whatever she likes. She has also been put on notice and if she plays up in any way I have instructed to call the police which to be honest I would do gladly.
Song Of The Day